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See Chapter 10 on interpreting the facial language code. Trying to hide your hands may make you appear deceptive. See Chapter 11 on using your hands. She was undoubtedly the best flirt that any of her friends had ever come across. She presented the best impression she could and people loved her for it. From the paper shop to the pub, her energy and vitality won everyone over. Being a successful flirt takes energy and resilience. Treat every encounter as a flirtation in the making.
Face, hands, and feet provide a simple means of interpreting revealing behaviour. Complement this understanding with tips on rapport building in Chapter 8 to give yourself a great head start. Answer: Anything. She always wore trousers when she went out, and when her friends tried to coax her into downloading a dress, she refused point blank. Jane eventually felt positive enough to download a dress and she looked great in it. Having the confidence to make a change also made her more confident in herself.
Instead of viewing the men she met in bars with cynicism, she started to give them a bit of a chance. Jane managed to put a lifetime of negative conditioning behind her and is now in a stable relationship.
If someone like Jane can grasp the positivity initiative, anyone can.
Further Flirting Games PDF Download
Just think of the rewards and stay focused on becoming the brilliant flirt you are. Obviously not every flirtation is going to go exactly to plan, but learning from your errors is all part of the process. If your fears of rejection are getting in your way, overcome them with help from Chapter Practise flirting every day, with people of all ages and with both men and women.
Mastering the innocent mutual kind of flirting first is an important step to take to enable you to successfully conquer the full-on variety. Setting your thinking You have the power to control your thoughts, although sometimes it can feel quite the opposite. If you hear enough negative messages, you believe them. You need to change your thinking. These are just simple little messages or phrases you keep repeating to yourself to align your subconscious with your positive way of thinking.
Each night, just before you go to sleep, get rid of your automatic negative thoughts. This process is even more effective if you take a few moments to write down your successes. The following morning, review your notes and congratulate yourself.
Banishing flirting baggage Flirting baggage is all the bad experiences we carry with us that convert into negative feelings and effectively stop us from fulfilling our flirting potential.
Banishing your flirting baggage is a must before you rebuild your lovely flirting skills. Your mother told you not to air your dirty laundry in public for a reason. Not only are people uncomfortable hearing about it, this baggage reflects negatively on you, regardless of what the problem is or who was to blame.
Never mention your ex-partners or hang-ups when you first meet someone; let them form their own opinion. Put all your energy into how you sound, not what you say. See Chapter 5 for tips on making yourself sound confident.
Think about the last time you saw someone you fancied; did any nagging doubts about your flirting prowess or previous relationships prevent you from talking to them? When you have told a new flirtation about your ex or previous failed relationships, have they looked delighted? Did they ask to see you again? This would have been disappointing enough in itself, but he felt the need to explain his failure to every woman he dated, just to complete his humiliation and put her in the picture about his dating immaturity.
They got on really well and went on to dates two, three, and four. Eventually, Seb confessed that he was very nervous about the whole sex thing. By now Anne was extremely fond of him and, although she laughed, she was very understanding.
Let people get to know you for who you are and not in relation to your baggage to give your flirtations the best possible start. Spotting daily opportunities Feeling more positive about making more friends and getting more dates with your shiny new attitude? All you need now are opportunities to let yourself loose. Practice makes perfect; use a range of flirtations regularly to become a flirting expert.
As she waited in the foyer for the performance to finish, Santa approached her. He showed her the split in the back of his trousers and asked if she thought the children would be able to notice it. Santa was quite happy to reciprocate; he was terrified of facing screaming kids and it was a pleasant distraction from his pre-stage nerves.
In the space of a few minutes Barbara and Santa enjoyed a delicious — and innocent — flirtation. It left Barbara with a smile on her face and Santa with a spring in his step. In this section, I look at four of the most common styles.
The minesweeper A minesweeper trawls every room in a building for potential targets to flirt with, and is never happier than when laying on the charm. The problem for the minesweeper is being taken seriously by potential dates when wanting something more serious.
Being able to draw people in this way means that the life and soul of a party tends not to have to search out people to flirt with. The wallflower has a lot to offer but needs to learn to build up confidence. Novice or a Pro? Evaluating your confidence level To gauge how confident you are as a flirt, ask yourself these questions: In professional interactions: When first meeting someone in the office that you find attractive, do you: 1.
Look them in the eye and greet them with a cheery smile and a hello? Look their way, but wait for them to make the first move to say hello?
Wait for someone else to make the introductions? In social settings: When first meeting somebody socially that you find attractive, do you: 1. Catch their eye, then approach them confidently? Just follow the tips in this book and everything will start falling into place. When it comes to flirting you have to use it or lose it, so put more effort into the area with the higher score and watch all your relationships flourish.
Evaluating your adaptability A good flirt uses their interpersonal talents appropriately, in both the workplace and socially. You can judge your adaptability as a flirt by flirting with a friend the way you would flirt with a date and then seeing how they react.
Do they: 1.
Not notice? Start to behave differently towards you? You need to be more aware of how you behave towards and around different types of flirting scenarios.
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Develop this further in other scenarios to see how your flirting volume changes. You need to look at your basic flirting skills and work on amplifying or toning them down depending on the situation.
Write down a list of all your constraints. Identifying your constraints is the first step on the way to challenging and overcoming them.
Mind Games Women Play (And How To Beat Them Like A Boss!)
Cutting the apron strings Bob had a place on his own, having separated from his girlfriend. Eventually Bob decided it was time to get out before he turned into his father. By now his mother was well into her new weekend regime and resented the change.
She went out of her way to keep him at home with her, even letting herself in ready to meet Bob and any new lady friend he happened to bring home for coffee. It was tough, but Bob managed to cut the apron strings and motivate himself away from a life of Saturday night TV and a hearty meal with his mum, towards getting out and meeting some new faces. To get out and get flirting, you need to challenge your constraints and gather your motivation.
To be able to flirt spontaneously, you need to work on changing your motivation. Applying the rule to improve your approach A clever bloke called Pareto developed the rule, which basically says that 80 per cent of problems can be solved by 20 per cent effort.
This principle can be applied to many things. By applying the same approach to the constraints that inhibit your flirting, you can make great progress. Rather than tackle every little thing individually, which would essentially delay your chance 7Summits Chapter 2: Identifying Your Flirting Style 27 to make the most of your flirting opportunities, you could fix one thing that would lead to the biggest gains for yourself.
To do this, take your list of constraints and categorise them from the biggest flirting inhibitor to the smallest. Give each constraint a weighting of between 1 and , with the total value of all the constraints adding to Pick the biggest value constraint and put your efforts into overcoming it. Using your subconscious to your advantage is very simple: only tell it good things and it will gradually boost your confidence to giant proportions.
Same figure, different perspectives Patsy was a tall, attractive woman with no shortage of male admirers. However, she obsessed about her figure and managed to convince herself she was fat.
Her friends continually assured her she had a great figure, but the self-doubt continued. They were surprised to see that it was actually Patsy. Not only had she altered her own body image in her head, her negativity had also caused her friends to see her in the same way.
After their shock at their altered image of Patsy, her friends insisted that no more negative talk be allowed and gradually even Patsy started to like what she saw in the mirror. Be positive with yourself and the people around you to maintain your best possible self-image. Even if the change is welcome, you can still find it challenging. Emulating someone you admire Copying someone you admire — your flirting icon — is one of the simplest ways to improve your flirting style.
Picking your flirting icon When you pick your icon, do so with care. When I was tiny I loved watching Marilyn Monroe films. I quickly learned that when adapting a style, choosing someone more akin to your own personality and the times than a throw back from decades ago is best.
In our celebrity-obsessed culture, business professionals, entrepreneurs, film, music, and reality TV stars are all available icons. This excuse simply becomes an Christopher Williamson 8 www. If you continue to do the same things, youll always get the same results. If you continue to make these excuses to yourself, dont expect your dating situation to ever change. The ability to change your thinking and beliefs also changes your results in the dating world.
So what happens when men dont feed their minds any excuses to meet women? They freeze. Oh, I want to meet this woman. Umm, what do I say? I need something creative to say. What can I say, what can I say? While the man thinks of something to say the woman gets up and leaves, and the man misses his opportunity. Why Men Must Approach Women Let me ask you this: Would you decide to date a woman that youd only spoken to over the phone but didnt know what she looked like?
Youd be very interested in her physical appearance before youd consider showing interest in her personality or interests. Just as men need to see evidence that a woman is appealing physically attractive , women also want to see proof that men possess masculine qualities like confidence, and the ability to lead situations. So before you can date any woman you need to go through a series of tests that prove your masculinity.
As weve mentioned, there are only three vital steps to attracting the quality of woman you deserve. These are the flirting actions: comfort, interest and desire.
These are action steps men must take to prove themselves. In the eyes of women, if men cannot perform these three steps they are not attractive.
In order to see if men possess the qualities they seek women set up favourable situations to test mens masculinity, whether theyre consciously aware of it or not. One test a woman uses to filter out weak men is to see if her beauty intimidates them. Do you think men are considered masculine if they are scared in the presence of a beautiful woman?
Heck, if a mans scared of a woman hows he ever going to protect her? Your duty as a man is to approach the woman and make the first contact with her.
Christopher Williamson Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know If youre not willing to walk up to a woman and open your mouth because youre too scared, then she already knows youre not the man shes looking for. This may seem cruel but its the harsh reality of attracting women youve never met before. Dont wait for a go signal like eye contact or someone to introduce you. Just take action. Do you feel even more intimidated by the thought of approaching an extremely attractive woman?
The more beautiful the woman, the harder it is for a man to start a conversation with her. This is just one of the ways women filter out men that dont fit their image of the ideal man.
Exceptionally beautiful women wear the most stylish clothes, coolest sunglasses and sexiest tans, and often dont smile when walking through the world. Their image screams, stay away, and less confident men are often so intimidated by this aura that they decide to do nothing. This sneaky strategy can be employed by a woman to filter out the less confident men from ever approaching her, ultimately saving her lots of time.
She only wants to date the most masculine and fearless partners possible. The same rules apply in isolated settings. If theyve been talking in front of a roasting fire with romantic lighting and seductive music, the man must still make the first move or nothing will happen. Even if women are ready and willing they almost never take the first step. Its all part of testing men. If men cant initiate and escalate the situation, women wont be interested.
Waiting for the man to lead allows the woman to assess the sort of man shes dealing with and gives him the opportunity to attract her. Women are drawn to mens leadership qualities. Their instinctive habits are to passively observe males with strong masculine behaviour.
Theyll watch men as they approach and compete, rather than walk around and start these interactions themselves. For these reasons men must approach women.
Womens Ultimate Fantasy Another way to make sense of this is to imagine womens ideal scenario. A womans dream is to meet a masculine and charming man in an ordinary, everyday place. Having the entire situation just happen is perfect. These ideas come from the fairy tales weve been taught since an early age. Christopher Williamson If theyve been talking in front of a roasting fire with romantic lighting and seductive music, the man must still make the first move or nothing will happen.
Most of this happens unconsciously, but when we become aware of it, we can begin to change it consciously, just as we can change our breathing. When it comes to flirting you have to use it or lose it, so put more effort into the area with the higher score and watch all your relationships flourish.
It even makes a great party game!
How many women do you know who believe men should be trained and changed to fit the mould? DAY 3: Pretty cruel, too.
The added value you have over any test is that you can actually observe people in their own environment. Somewhere along the line someone had told Naomi that men were uncontrollable animals and women must temper their behaviour so as not to arouse their animal instincts.