and All That: A Memorable History of England, comprising all the parts you can remember, including Good Things, 5 Bad Kings and 2 Genuine Dates. And All That () - Free download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online for free. Get this from a library! and all that. [Walter Carruthers Sellar; Robert Julian Yeatman; Frank Muir].
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and All That by W. C. Sellar, , available at Book Depository with free delivery worldwide. and All That: A memorable history of England, comprising all the parts you Borrow · DAISY for print-disabled Download ebook for print-disabled (DAISY). And All That: A Memorable History of England - Comprising All the Parts You Can Remember Including One Hundred and Three Good Things, Five Bad.
A Memorable History of England, comprising all the parts you can remember, including Good Things, 5 Bad Kings and 2 Genuine Dates is a tongue-in-cheek reworking of the history of England. Written by W.
Sellar and R. Both the Tory view of a 'great man' history, and the liberal pieties of Whig history are undermined in the work, in the then contemporary style of such serious historians as Namier and Herbert Butterfield. The book is a parody of the style of history teaching in English schools at the time, in particular of Our Island Story.
The book is full of examples of half-remembered and mixed-up facts. Although the subtitle states that the book comprises " Good Things, 5 Bad Kings and 2 Genuine Dates", the book's preface mentions that originally four dates were planned, but last-minute research revealed that two of them were not memorable.
However, when the date of the Roman invasion is given, it is immediately followed by the date that Caesar was "compelled to invade Britain again the following year 54 BC, not 56, owing to the peculiar Roman method of counting ". Despite the confusion of dates the Roman Conquest is the first of historical events in the book characterised as a Good Thing , "since the Britons were only natives at that time".
Chapter II begins "that long succession of Waves of which History is chiefly composed", the first of which, here, is composed of Ostrogoths , Visigoths , mere Goths , Vandals , and Huns.
Bad kings include King John , who when he came to the throne showed how much he deserved this epithet when he "lost his temper and flung himself on the floor, foaming at the mouth and biting the rushes" Chapter XVIII. The death of Henry I from "a surfeit of palfreys " recorded in other historical works as a "surfeit of lampreys ", Chapter XIII proves to be a paradigmatic case of the deaths of later monarchs through a surfeit of over-eating or other causes.
The book also contains five joke "Test Papers" interspersed among the chapters, which contain nonsense instructions including the famous "Do not on any account attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once" Test Paper V ,  and "Do not attempt to answer more than one question at a time" Test Paper I and such unanswerable questions as "How far did the Lords Repellent drive Henry III into the arms of Pedro the Cruel?
Protractors may not be used. In , the musical comedy —and all that: The book and lyrics were by Reginald Arkell ; the music was composed by Alfred Reynolds. It was revived at the Palace Theatre, London , in The narrative for the musical is based on the idea of an Everyman character, the Common Man, who is visiting a waxworks museum. He experiences some of the major events and characters of British history, starting with the Romans.
While his wife and son traipse round the waxworks, he dreams the waxworks come to life, singing and dancing and recalling the events and characters first met in dry-as-dust school lessons that are most likely to stick, however imperfectly, in an everyman-school-student's mind: From the Roman Conquest to the Modern Era of automobiles.
A chorus of Roman soldiers sing about "Going home", and being "on the road that leads to Rome. Later a chorus of monks sing about the horrors of meatless Friday meals in the abbey. A Puritan and a Cavalier sing a jaunty, flirting ditty, and so on. At the end, the Common Man is run down by a passing taxi, and the Finale reprises the "Going home" song with suitably modified lyrics.
1066 and All That
Speculate wildly. Paul's Cathedral, thus provmg that he was innocent. He also captured the Scottish Prince James and, while keeping him as a sausage, had him carefully educated for nineteen years; finding, however, that James was still Scotch, Henry IV Part II lost interest in education and died. Conditions in France were favourable to Henry since the French King, being mad, had entrusted the government of the country to a dolphin and the command of the army to an elderly constable.
He then displaced the dolphin as ruler of Anjou, Menjou, Poilou, Mame, Touraine, Againe and Agame, and realising that he was now too famous to live long expired at the Ideal moment. When he grew up, however, he was such a Good Man that he was considered a Saint, or alternatively especially by the Barons an imbecile.
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Are you a good plain crook f 2. Are you Edmund Mortimer? If not, have you got rum? Have you ever been King before? If so, state how many times; also whether deposed, beheaded, or died of surfeit 4.
1066 And All That
Are you insane f If so, state whether permanently or only temporarily. Are you prepared to marry Margaret of Angoul8me? If Isabella of Hainault preferred, give reasons.
Candidates are advised not to attempt both ladles 6. Have you had the Black Death? What have you done with your mother? If Nun, write None. Do you intend to be I a a Good King. II a a Good Man.
How do you propose to die? It was therefore decided, since the Stuarts were not ready yet, to have some Welsh Kings called Tudors on account of their descent from Owen Glend0"r' who, it was hoped, would be more memorable. TIllS IS memorable as bemg the only occasion on which the crown has been fount] after a battle hanging up 11l a hawthorn tree on top at a hill. This was an enormous prong with which his minister Morton visited the rich citizens or burghlers as they were called.
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If the citizens said he was poor, Morton drove his Fork III a ceitam distance and promised not to take It out until the citizen paid a large sum of money to the King. As soon as this was Iorthcommg Morton dismissed him, at the same time shouting" Fork Out" so that Henry would know the statecraft had. Two Pretenders who now arose were Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck and they succeeded in confusing the issue absolutely by being so similar that some historians suggest they were really the same person i.
Punishment of Lamnel or Wermkm The punishment of these memorable Pretenders was Justly smular, since Perkin Warmnel was compelled to become a blot on the King's skitchen, while Perbeck was made an escullion Wnnneck, however, subsequently began pretending again. ThIS time he pretended that he had been smothered ill early youth and buried under a stair-rod while pretending to be one of the LIttle Princes in the Tower. In order to prove that he had not been murdered before, Henry was reluctantly compelled to have him really executed.
Even after his execution many people believed that he was only pretending to ha. This was obviously a very Good Thmg. These were succeeded by an age of daring discoveries.
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Emboldened by this, Caprornicus began openly discussing the topic of capricorns, for which he was unanimously put to death. The greatest of these discoverers, however, was St. Chnstophus Columba, the utterly memorable American, who.
Intone intcnnmably but maudtbly 1 The Pilgums' Glace.Blood-Orangemen Meanwhile the Orange increased its popularity and showed themselves to be a very strong King by its ingenious answer to the Irish Question; this consisted in the Battle of the Boyne and a very strong treaty which followed it, stating a that all the Irish Roman Catholics who liked could be transported to France, b that all the rest who liked could be put to the sword, c that Northern Ireland should be planted with Blood Orangemen.
These have usually come in small waves of about two an Old Pretender and a Young Pretender, their object being to sow dissension in the realm, and if possible to contuse the Royal issue by pretending to be heirs to the throne.
Wave of Justifiable Wars OWING to the inability of the Queen's ministers to amuse the Crown, superhuman attempts were now made by her Majesty's generals at home and abroad to provide military diversions. A Darien Scheme The Scots were now in a skirling uproar because James II was the last of the Scottish Kings and England was under the rule of the Dutch Orange; it was therefore decided to put them in charge of a very fat man called Cortez and transport them to a Peak in Darien, where it was hoped they would be more silent.
It is what you can remember.
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